;)
A Polish guy canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for him to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
"How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the Polish guy came to the door to collect his money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the Polish man answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the Polish man added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
"How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the Polish guy came to the door to collect his money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the Polish man answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the Polish man added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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urszulkara
- Gastarbeiter
- Posty: 65
- Rejestracja: 01 maja 2012 16:21
- Do you speak English?
- Yes!
- Name?
- Abdul Aziz.
- seksik?
- Three to five times a day.
- No, no...I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast...
- Yes!
- Name?
- Abdul Aziz.
- seksik?
- Three to five times a day.
- No, no...I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast...
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions;
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and not need one.
I mean, What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
Polish Remover.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions;
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and not need one.
I mean, What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
Polish Remover.
A Pole abroad wants to a buy saw for metal, but he knows no English.
So he comes to the shop, starts speaking with the clerk:
"Chcę kupić PIŁĘ DO METALU."
Clerk don't understand, so Pole start pretending he plays soccer, shouts "Real Madryt, Gooaal!". Then clerk understood - and says "Oh, you want a ball."
Pole smiles, nods his head, and says - "yes, a ball." Then he tells in Polish "teraz się skoncentruj: ... DO METALU"
So he comes to the shop, starts speaking with the clerk:
"Chcę kupić PIŁĘ DO METALU."
Clerk don't understand, so Pole start pretending he plays soccer, shouts "Real Madryt, Gooaal!". Then clerk understood - and says "Oh, you want a ball."
Pole smiles, nods his head, and says - "yes, a ball." Then he tells in Polish "teraz się skoncentruj: ... DO METALU"
A Polish man was walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a Frenchman lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybee I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the Pole, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to the Frenchman.
"I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him.
After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the front of zee sweeming suit?"
"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What do they want?"
"Maybee I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."
"Wow! Thanks!" says the Pole, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to the Frenchman.
"I'm sorry to bother you again," he says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been able to meet a girl."
"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."
"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him.
After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. "Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, and still nothing! What more can I do?" "Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't you try moving zee potato to the front of zee sweeming suit?"
ogloszenia pojawiajace sie na londynku smialo mozna zaliczyc do tej kategorii 
Sektor: Finanse, Ubezpieczenia, Prawo
Rodzaj pracy: Czas nieokreślony
Okres: dluszy okres
Rejon: Eastern Region › Bedfordshire
Miejscowość/dzielnica: luton
witam szukam prywatnie osoby ktura zalatwia benefity hausing itp osoba ta musi byc pszebojowa oraz godna zaufania luton propozycje prosze na emaila otpisze
http://londynek.net/jobs/szukam+prwatni ... _id=726392
pomijajac fakt, ze nie ma tam ani jednej kropki, przecinka itp
Sektor: Finanse, Ubezpieczenia, Prawo
Rodzaj pracy: Czas nieokreślony
Okres: dluszy okres
Rejon: Eastern Region › Bedfordshire
Miejscowość/dzielnica: luton
witam szukam prywatnie osoby ktura zalatwia benefity hausing itp osoba ta musi byc pszebojowa oraz godna zaufania luton propozycje prosze na emaila otpisze
http://londynek.net/jobs/szukam+prwatni ... _id=726392
pomijajac fakt, ze nie ma tam ani jednej kropki, przecinka itp
-
BrejkerBrejker
- Gastarbeiter
- Posty: 41
- Rejestracja: 30 lip 2013 09:56
aina24 pisze:ogloszenia pojawiajace sie na londynku smialo mozna zaliczyc do tej kategorii
Sektor: Finanse, Ubezpieczenia, Prawo
Rodzaj pracy: Czas nieokreślony
Okres: dluszy okres
Rejon: Eastern Region › Bedfordshire
Miejscowość/dzielnica: luton
witam szukam prywatnie osoby ktura zalatwia benefity hausing itp osoba ta musi byc pszebojowa oraz godna zaufania luton propozycje prosze na emaila otpisze
http://londynek.net/jobs/szukam+prwatni ... _id=726392
pomijajac fakt, ze nie ma tam ani jednej kropki, przecinka itp
Kurturarny i wykrztaucony
-
BrejkerBrejker
- Gastarbeiter
- Posty: 41
- Rejestracja: 30 lip 2013 09:56
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